


Bedroom Floor

by Star55



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (there is accusations of cheating but NO ONE actually cheats at all), Alternate Universe, F/F, Girl Direction, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Light Angst, Not Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-30 23:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19414111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star55/pseuds/Star55
Summary: Liam and Louis have been doing this dance ever since they broke up. The thing is, it’s slowly killing Liam and Louis doesn’t realise it.





	Bedroom Floor

**Author's Note:**

> originally this was meant to be something completely different, but this fic took a turn of its own, and, well, here i am.
> 
> as per usual - thanks to emma for the beta and brit-pick ily ♥
> 
> any leftover mistakes are my own. Please (kindly) tell me if you find something glaringly awful.
> 
> Please do not break the fourth wall and show this to anyone in the band, their family, friends, etc, etc. Thank you. ♥

Sweat still sticks to Liam’s skin as Louis says the same words that she’s been saying the last half a dozen times now.

“This doesn’t change anything. We’re still over.”

It’s a little confusing, especially when her lips meet Liam’s in a brief kiss before she’s scooping her jacket up from the bedroom floor, shrugging it on as she leaves. 

Liam pushes her hair off her forehead, in desperate need of a shower. Her breathing still hasn’t quite gone back to normal. Not that she’s surprised. Sex with Louis is _always_ an event. She gets up, stretching her arms high above her head, her muscles protesting at the movements. She rolls her shoulders and doesn’t even bother to put knickers on as she heads to the bathroom. It’s not like anyone else lives with her to admonish her for walking around naked.

As Liam showers, she sees the marks Louis left behind. She has a thing about that. She’s been saying for a month now that they’re over but she still leaves love bites all over Liam like they’re still girlfriends.

At this point, Liam isn’t even sure _why_ they broke up. It was Louis’ choice, of course. And Liam was devastated. She thought things were good between them, and then out of nowhere, Louis says that it’s over.

But not even a week later, she’s back in Liam’s bed, touching her and making her feel like she’s the only girl in the entire world. 

It’s incredibly confusing. 

“You need to stop shagging her,” Zayn says, an unlit cigarette hanging from her lips. She cups her hands around it to light it, a stream of smoke expelling from her lips as she exhales. 

Liam sighs. She runs a hand over her face and shrugs. She wants to stop shagging, but then Louis _looks_ at her and she’s feeling the things she’s felt for the last eighteen months now when it comes to Louis – something akin to deep love.

“I’m serious,” Zayn continues as they walk along the path in the park. Their dogs both tug their arms as they find something new and exciting to sniff, and they’re helpless but to follow. 

“Watson,” Liam says sternly. “Drop that.” Her Great Dane, Watson, shoots her a look, but drops the item that was in his mouth. At least her dog listens to her. She runs her hand over his head, scratching behind his ears. He presses into her hand a little more and then turns, wandering in search of new smells.

“You can’t keep doing this, Li,” Zayn says as they walk. “It’s killing you.”

The thing is, Zayn isn’t exactly _wrong_. Liam feels like she’s been pulled in all different directions. She wants to be with Louis, but after the way they broke up, she doesn’t see how that’s possible. But then Louis is calling her up late at night, and coming over, and making sweet, sweet love to Liam like they’re still girlfriends, and like they’ve got their whole lives in front of them. 

But they _don’t_.

Louis broke up with Liam.

Completely out of the blue. And Liam’s heart is still very broken.

But Louis keeps coming back again and again and again.

“I don’t know what to do,” Liam says, chewing on her bottom lip. They’ve paused again, Watson’s nose is buried in the base of a bush, snuffling happily, while Zayn’s French bulldog, Stitch, has sat down, clearly having walked enough already. 

Zayn bends over and scoops up her dog, grinning when Stitch licks her chin with big, long strokes. It makes Liam smile. Distracts her for a moment. 

Then Zayn is looking at her once again and she realises that she’s not coping well at all.

“I don’t want to tell you what to do–”

“No, please, tell me what to do. I’m dying here, Zed.”

Zayn closes the gap between them. She winds her free arm over Liam’s shoulders and pulls her in for a half-hug, Stitch almost getting squashed between them.

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Zayn says, softer this time. She presses a chaste kiss to Liam’s cheek. “But you can’t keep letting her come back in. Not after she broke up with you. Not after the way it all happened, and especially not when you’re the only one that’s actually hurting.”

“You don’t know that,” Liam automatically protests. “She could be hurting, too.”

Zayn shakes her head. She cups the back of Liam’s neck fingers pressing just so against her scalp. “I heard her saying to the girls how much she hates you.”

Ice runs through Liam’s veins.

“She what?”

Zayn hesitates, like she doesn’t want to be saying this, but Liam needs to hear it. She needs to know. Maybe then she’ll actually stop wanting Louis. Will actually stop saying yes to Louis coming over. Will finally be able to start getting over her. She can’t get over her when she’s still getting under Louis.

Tears prick Liam’s eyes as Zayn recounts the story. 

She can’t breathe. 

She can’t believe that Louis would say such hateful, hurtful things. 

They were solid. 

They were meant to be forever.

And now it’s just… _over_.

It should have been over from the start. From when Louis broke up with Liam on that fateful Tuesday afternoon. But Liam is weak. And she loves Louis. She loves her a _lot_. She could really see herself settling down with Louis, and being a family. 

But now that’s all gone. 

“C’mon, let’s get you home.”

Liam shakes her head. Tears fall down her cheeks but she makes no move to wipe them away. “I can’t go back there. I can’t. Please don’t make me.” She knows that she sounds desperate, but she’s having a full on panic attack right there in the middle of the park. 

Zayn’s hand is warm in her own. “Alright, come back to mine.”

Thankfully, Zayn’s flat is close by. It’s a little messy, but Liam is used to Louis’ mess, so it doesn’t bother her. There’s clothes lying over the back of the sofa, a bright pink bra, a pair of knickers, and a few snapbacks that indicate that Niall has recently been home.

“Sit, I’ll make you a cuppa.”

Liam sits down on the sofa. Watson rests his head on her knee. She automatically scratches behind his ears, losing herself in the action. 

It’s really over. 

She knows that she needs it to really be over between them. Louis can’t be whispering sweet nothings into Liam’s ear one moment and telling their friends how much she hates her the next, it’s not _right_. 

A fresh wave of tears roll over Liam. Watson whines and pushes his head further into her hand. She slides off the sofa and onto the floor, burying her face in Watson’s neck. At least he’ll always love her. It’s a cold comfort.

She stays at Zayn and Niall’s for a few days, sleeping on their sofa. Watson and Stitch snuggle together on Stitch’s too small bed. 

Somehow this is worse than their actual break up.

Three days into her stay at Zayn’s, Liam’s phone pings with a text.

It’s Louis.

 _Hey, what’s up?_

Liam bites her lip. She hesitates, her thumbs hovering over the screen. She can hear Niall and Zayn giggling in the kitchen as they prepare dinner. Worse, she can hear them kissing. 

Liam’s thumbs move over the screen before her brain realises what she’s doing.

“I’m going to take Watson for a walk,” Liam announces.

She’s gone before she gets a response.

Her flat feels weird as she steps inside it and flicks on a light.

Watson immediately trots to his food bowl. Liam quickly puts him some fresh food and water out and pats his head before going to the bedroom. 

The sheets are still in a mess from the last time Louis was over.

The doorbell rings and Liam’s stomach tenses. 

She wants this, right? She wants to be able to talk to Louis. To get answers to the questions she has. To see Louis’ face when she tells her that it’s officially over between them.

With a steely resolve, Liam nods to herself and answers the door.

Every shred of willpower that she thought she had goes out of the window the second Louis smiles at her.

“You look good,” Louis says as she shrugs off her jacket. “Hey, Watson, who’s a good boy?” Liam’s heart clenches as Louis bends down and gives Watson a hug and a scratch behind his ears. Watson’s tongue lolls out of his mouth in happiness.

“I brought wine.” Louis holds up the bottle of rosé she had brought with her. She makes her way to the kitchen like she has a million times before. She pours them both a glass and presses one into Liam’s hand.

“Um…” Liam begins.

“Ugh, I’ve had the _worst week_ ,” Louis interrupts. “Angela, you remember Angela, right? She’s trying to take over my project at work, but that was assigned to me, right? It’s–”

Liam zones out. 

Louis’ acting like they’re still girlfriends – sharing parts of her life, complaining about her day. But not once does she ask how Liam is.

“I can’t do this.”

Louis abruptly stops talking. “Do what?”

“This,” Liam says. She sets her glass down and gestures between them. “H-have you talk like we’re still together. Then want s-sex… I c-can’t.”

Louis shoots her a confused look. “Why not?”

“Because you broke up with me, Louis!” Liam exclaims, louder than she meant to. “ _You broke up with me_!”

Louis’ face closes off. Her smile is gone, and there’s a hard look in her eyes. “We’ve been doing this for a while now, why the sudden change?”

“Because you’ve been telling all of our friends how much you hate me!”

“Because you _cheated_ on me!”

Liam steps back like she’s been physically slapped. “I never cheated on you.”

Louis scoffs. “Sure, so that was some other girl who had their hands all over Hannah at Harry’s party, then?”

“Who’s Hannah?” Liam asks, confused. How could Louis think that she would ever _cheat_? The thought of it makes Liam’s stomach churn.

“Don’t act innocent,” Louis says angrily. She sets her glass down, too, and glares at Liam. “I _saw you_ snogging Hannah at Harry’s party.”

“I absolutely did not.”

“Don’t lie to me, Liam!” Louis explodes. “That fucking broke my heart. And now you won’t even admit it? Pathetic.”

“I can’t believe that you’d think I’d ever cheat on you!” Liam retorts. Her chest constricts and tears prick her eyes. “Did you even know how much I loved you? How much I _still_ love you? Christ, I keep letting you come back even though you absolutely shattered me when you broke up with me.”

“I broke up with you because you cheated on me!” 

“I didn’t. I don’t know _who_ you saw snogging Hannah, but it wasn’t me! I’ve never cheated on anyone and I don’t plan to start now!” Liam is fuming. Her chest heaves and her hand grips the counter top where she stands.

“Don’t lie to me! I think I deserve the truth after being together for so long.”

“I _am_ telling you the truth,” Liam says, trying to calm down. “Maybe you should ask Hannah who she was snogging because it absolutely wasn’t me.”

They fall silent.

“I think you should go,” Liam says, despite the fact that it absolutely hurts her inside to say those words. She wants to stop fighting with Louis. To take her in her arms and kiss her and love her forever. 

But she can’t.

Zayn was right.

This is killing her.

“We’re over, Louis,” Liam says. She can’t look at her when she says this. She knows her resolve will break if she does. “For good.”

The door slams behind Louis as she leaves and Liam collapses to the kitchen floor, sobbing into her hands.

~*~

“You did the right thing.”

Zayn’s says that to Liam at every possible opportunity.

Liam knows it. But it doesn’t stop her from thinking she did the worst thing.

She misses Louis. 

She misses laughing with her. Misses her presence in Liam’s life. Misses lying in bed with her on a Sunday morning trading lazy kisses and just _being_ together.

But she has to move on. Life goes on, whether she’s ready for it to or not.

It’s just _hard_ – harder than anyone could have ever prepared her for. 

It takes a long time to break out of the routines she had got herself into, to start living as only _one_ person rather than as a couple. 

She guesses that it was a small mercy that she and Louis had never actually lived together, that they’d still had their own, separate flats, because just handing back a box of Louis’ stuff was enough to put Liam to bed for three days straight.

It takes time, but Liam thinks that one day maybe she can be a whole person again.

She spends a lot of her time over at Niall and Zayn’s flat, usually with Watson so he and Stitch can play together. She likes that they’re such good friends. And it eases her guilt at leaving Watson at home whenever she has to go out. Which isn’t often, as she works from home, but she still feels guilty over it.

Tonight, though, was a night when she and Louis had planned to go to Beyoncé together. Liam let Louis have the tickets. She isn’t sure _why_ she let Louis have the tickets. There’s some form of guilt there, but she realises that she doesn’t want to see Queen Bey without Louis.

“You’re a champ, Li,” Niall says as she sets a loaded plate of spaghetti in front of her. 

Liam just shrugs. “I wouldn’t have enjoyed it.”

“Fuck me,” Niall says as she sits down at the table. “I would’ve gone. I definitely would’ve enjoyed it.”

Zayn sets glasses down on the table for all of them and fills them with water. “Why _did_ you give Louis the tickets? I thought you bought them?”

“I did,” Liam replies. She has successfully avoided telling them the reasoning so far, but it doesn’t seem like she can get out of it this time. “But Louis… She deserves them.”

Niall makes a very weird sound as she slurps up her pasta. “Why?”

“Because she thinks I cheated on her.”

“That’s a bullshit reason,” Niall says. “You’re the one who was dumped, Li. She should be doing nice things for _you_ , not the other way around.”

Liam shrugs again. She twirls her fork in her spaghetti, suddenly not very hungry. “I just want her to be happy.”

Silence falls over them. Liam keeps her gaze firmly on her food. 

It’s weird, she knows it is. She’s the one who was brutally dumped, the one who was hurt so badly out of all of this, but she still wants Louis to be happy. She wants good things only for Louis, and she doesn’t care if it means giving up tickets to seeing Beyoncé. Not when she knows how good of a time Louis will have at the concert.

“Eat your dinner before it gets cold,” Zayn says softly. She nudges Liam with her elbow and nods to her food. 

Liam eats mechanically. It doesn’t taste like anything. But she eats regardless. She’s here. With her friends. And she’s firm in her decision that she did the right thing.

After dinner, they’re sitting together on the sofa, a blanket draped over all three of them as they snuggle in to watch _Mean Girls_.

It’s hard not to miss Louis. Especially when Lindsay Lohan comes on screen in her Christmas outfit. It was during this part of the movie that Louis would always burst into _Please, Please_ by McFly because she loved that the song was written about Lindsay and how fit she is. 

As if sensing her discomfort, Watson ambles over, pressing his big, beautiful head into Liam’s thigh. She smiles down at him and runs a hand over his head, fingers pressing in all of his favourite parts.

“I’m going to head off,” Liam says when the movie has finished. Niall and Zayn have been giving each other bedroom eyes for the last half an hour and she knows it’s only a matter of time before Zayn is politely (and Niall not so politely) kicking her out.

She grabs Watson’s harness and lead, slipping it onto him with ease.

“Goodbye, Watson, the only man I’ll ever love,” Niall says dramatically. 

“Uh, your son just heard that,” Zayn says as she bends over to pick Stitch up. “And he’s very upset with you right now.”

Niall squawks and kisses the top of Watson’s head briefly before she’s wrapping her arms around Zayn’s middle, effectively pinning Stitch between them. 

“Stitch is my main man, he knows that, don’t you, boy?” Niall asks, kissing the top of his head, too. Stitch wiggles between them, his tongue swiping across Niall’s chin. “He and Watson are bros.”

Zayn snorts, shaking her head, an impossibly fond look on her face. Liam takes that as her cue to go.

She bids them all goodbye and closes the door behind herself.

Watson is thankfully happy to walk at a slower pace back to their place, only stopping when something particularly interesting smelling catches his attention.

Liam wanders along, more than happy to let him roam for a while. Her mind is going too fast as it is. She knows that she won’t be able to get to sleep when she gets home with the thoughts of Louis whirring in her head. 

She knows that eventually the sting of their break up will hurt less, but right now it’s still too raw and she’s still hurting too much. And things are still too often reminding her of Louis and what they had.

But eventually she knows it’ll stop.

~*~

Seven months after their break up, Niall tells Liam she’s going to set her up on a blind date with this cute girl she knows, and Liam immediately starts to panic.

She’s never been with someone other than Louis. She wouldn’t even know _how_ to be with someone other than Louis. 

But she agrees. Mostly because when put together, Zayn and Niall are a force to be reckoned with. 

“Her name is Chloe,” Niall says as she drops Liam off outside the restaurant. “She’s cute. A tiny little thing height wise, but she’s got a big personality. She’s incredibly smart, too.” 

Liam knows all of this already, but she can tell that Niall is nervous for her.

“Thanks, Ni.” She unclicks her seatbelt and gives Niall a wobbly smile. 

“Call me if you need me, yeah? I’ll come right back and get you, no questions.”

“I know.” She leans over and kisses Niall’s cheek softly before getting out of the car.

The restaurant has a nice atmosphere to it. Zayn picked it, as she knows Liam’s tastes better than anyone else. 

And since Liam is perpetually early, her date hasn’t arrived yet. She gets seated at the table and is passed a menu that she immediately flips open and looks at without really seeing it. 

“Liam?”

She looks up to see a girl with platinum blonde hair and striking grey eyes standing across from her. 

Liam smiles and nods. She stands and Chloe gives her an amused smile as she sits herself down. 

“I’m glad you came,” Liam finds herself saying.

“Niall’s told me a lot about you,” Chloe says. She’s Irish, which makes Liam smile. No wonder she and Niall are friends. 

“Good things, I hope?”

Chloe smiles. “If she wasn’t happily married I’d be worried. She thinks the sun shines out of your arse.”

Liam promptly flushes. “The feeling is mutual.”

They order drinks first. This entire thing is so weird to Liam. She’s never really dated like this. Sure, she had a few dates in university, but nothing proper and fancy like this. Those were only ever meeting at the pub, laughing over fish and chips and weak beer, with her friends right at the next table if things went south. 

But this is new territory for Liam.

She hopes her nerves aren’t showing too much.

Thankfully they seem to settle into a nice conversation when their food comes. Chloe explains that she’s a biochemical engineer and she works at the university, and she met Niall through a game of beer pong at an ex-girlfriend’s party. 

While it’s odd to be out on a date getting to know someone, Liam isn’t hating it. She loves Chloe’s sense of humour, and finds herself really enjoying their date.

So much so that she’s asking for Chloe’s number at the end of it. 

“Call me,” Chloe says as she passes Liam’s phone back to her. “I’d like to do this again some time.”

“Me too.”

There’s a moment of hesitation between both of them before Chloe seems to get over it. She presses her lips to Liam’s. It’s a chaste kiss, brief, and over before it even really starts, but it leaves Liam’s lips tingling and her cheeks burning. 

“Have a good night,” Chloe says. Liam waves as she gets into a cab and watches as it drives off into the distance.

It’s a nice night, so she decides to walk back home. 

She should’ve known that Niall would be there when she got back.

“How’d it go?” Niall asks immediately, startling Watson, whose head is in Niall’s lap. “Did you like her? She’s the best, isn’t she?”

Liam grins and nods. “She’s pretty great. We’re going to go out again.”

Niall whoops and claps her hands together. “I _knew_ you’d like her.”

Liam smiles, unable to help herself. She pats Watson on the head as she makes her way through to the kitchen. “Cuppa?”

“Nah,” Niall says. She stays on the sofa with Watson until Liam comes back into the room. She sits on the other end and runs her free hand over Watson’s back. 

“Thanks for setting us up,” Liam says before bringing her tea to her lips to have a sip. 

The entire prospect of dating is still odd, still daunting, but Chloe’s relaxed personality had made it all seem so easy. She tells Niall this, too. Niall grins.

“Wait until Zayn hears about this,” Niall says excitedly. “She’s pissed that she had to go into work, but she’s keeping her phone on for me to text her. She wants to know _everything_.”

Liam’s friends are so odd. She loves them more than words could ever express, though. They’re the best people in her entire life and she wouldn’t be without them.

“I got her number,” Liam adds. She sets down her now empty mug on the coffee table and watches as Watson tries to climb into Niall’s lap. He only ever does this with her, Liam has noticed. It’s like he wants to be as physically close to Niall at all times. Niall, for her part, seems to feel the same, which is nice.

“Wait, you did?” Niall asks, snapping her gaze to look at Liam as Liam’s words finally sink in. “Li, that’s brilliant!”

“Thanks,” Liam replies. Her cheeks flush. The weirdest part of it all is that she’s looking forward to seeing Chloe again. 

Niall’s soft voice brings Liam out of her thoughts. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

“Me too.”

~*~

Liam goes out with Chloe a few more times. Their dates have been roughly a week apart – both of them are busy, especially Chloe with her field of work, but it’s nice to go out with someone she gets along with so well.

Their second date had been at the university. Not intentionally, of course. Liam had organised for them to go out to dinner again, but something had happened at the university that Chloe had to go and fix quite urgently, so Liam had met her there with a pizza and a bottle of wine. The look of happiness on Chloe’s face had been worth it.

Their other dates have been just as casual. Liam admitted that she liked it that way, so she and Chloe had been keeping their date locations as easy as possible. 

It’s nice, getting to know someone new, Liam thinks. Someone outside of her usual circle of friends. Friends that have mostly gone with Louis in the break up. She’s got Niall and Zayn, though, so that’s what she cares about.

Today is their fifth date – a lunch date, which is nice, Liam thinks. They’re sitting in the alfresco dining area of a restaurant that Chloe had chosen. 

It’s also the date that Liam thinks will probably end in sex. Chloe had hinted about it in some of her texts earlier in the week, and Liam is definitely on board. Well, she _thinks_ that she’s on board, at least. She enjoys kissing Chloe. A lot, actually. 

She’s a bit nervous to have sex though. 

A little petrified, actually. 

But she wants to. It’s just nerve-wracking having sex with someone for the first time. 

The sun is shining today, giving Chloe’s hair a halo-look. It’s very captivating. 

“C’mon, let’s go back to my place,” Chloe says as they’re getting up to leave. 

Suddenly there are butterflies in Liam’s stomach. Chloe gives her a sultry look and they both lean towards each other at the same time, their lips slotting together easily. The butterflies intensify. Liam is definitely ready for this.

When they part, Liam licks her lips. She takes Chloe’s hand in hers and looks up to head towards the road crossing.

And immediately stops dead in her tracks when she sees Louis staring at her.

She’s not sure that it’s Louis at first. But then she thinks who is she kidding? She’d recognise Louis anywhere.

Louis’ had a haircut. It’s short, with a floppy fringe that really suits her. And she’s staring at Liam with an open-mouthed expression. Their gazes have definitely caught and by the time Chloe realises that Liam isn’t following her, Louis has turned around and is walking off.

“Liam?” Chloe asks, tugging on her hand. “Are you alright?”

Liam blinks. She stares after Louis, but she can’t see her anymore. “Yeah. Uh. Yeah.” She nods, even though she isn’t sure if she _is_ alright.

She’s silent the entire walk back to Chloe’s place. She’s still in a daze when Chloe unlocks the door and leads them inside.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” 

Liam blinks at her. “Sorry,” she says, shaking her head. “I just saw someone I used to know.”

“A friend?” 

“My ex, actually,” Liam admits. 

This is definitely going to kill the mood. She’s mentioned Louis before, only in passing, only that the break up was hard, and that Liam was a little hesitant to date again, but she absolutely wanted to move on. But none of the gritty stuff. She doesn’t need to bombard Chloe with all of that. Especially not so soon into their… relationship. Can she call it a relationship after five dates? They haven’t even talked about exclusivity or anything like that yet. But this would definitely put a dampener on the start of whatever this is between them.

Chloe cups Liam’s face in her hands. She presses a soft kiss to Liam’s lips. “Tell me about her?”

That’s not what Liam was expecting at _all_.

But she talks anyway. 

It’s nice to talk to someone about this who isn’t Zayn or Niall – who can offer an objective point of view. 

“That sounds tough,” Chloe says when Liam has finished talking. “But I’m glad you’re not with someone who was so mean to you like that.”

“So you believe me that I never cheated?” Liam asks, a little stunned.

Chloe nods. “Of course,” she says. “I’ve been with cheaters and you _definitely_ do not give off that vibe.”

Relief floods Liam’s veins. “I could never cheat. I’d rather just end the relationship if I ever felt that way about someone else.”

“Good to know,” Chloe says, edging closer to Liam. “Same for me.”

Their lips meet. Liam isn’t really expecting the kiss, so it’s a little awkward, but it soon turns heated. Chloe is pushing Liam back into the sofa, straddling her waist. Chloe kisses differently to what Louis did. Which is good. It’s definitely good, because it wouldn’t do her to think of Louis while kissing Chloe.

Except that’s exactly what she’s doing.

Before Chloe’s hand can slide up Liam’s shirt, Liam’s gently pushing her shoulder to get her to stop.

“I don’t think I can,” Liam admits softly.

Chloe’s thumb swipes over Liam’s cheekbone. “It’s okay,” she replies. “If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.”

“It’s not just that,” Liam says. “It’s…”

“Seeing your ex for the first time since the break up? Yeah, that’d ruin my sex drive, too.”

Liam’s eyes crinkle as she smiles. “Thanks for being so understanding.”

“Of course,” Chloe says. “We’ve all been there. Want to watch a movie instead?”

Liam nods. “Got _The Avengers_?”

“I do,” Chloe replies.

Even though the movie is one of Liam’s favourites, and the press of Chloe’s arm against her own is warm and comforting, Liam’s mind wanders. It wanders to Louis and how seeing her for that few seconds really floored Liam.

She isn’t sure what she expected. She was bound to bump into Louis at some point – they do leave in relative closeness. But seeing her so casually wasn’t how Liam expected to see her for the first time.

But the fact that Liam expected to see her at some point should’ve been more telling than it is.

~*~

Going to Tesco at 10 o’clock at night isn’t Liam’s idea of fun. She is, however, trying to get in and out as quickly as possible because her period just came at the _worst_ time ever and she didn’t have any tampons at home. How that’s possible is beyond her, because she’s always prepared – over prepared, even, but when she went to get the box from the bathroom, it was empty.

She has a basket on her arm, and has three boxes of tampons in it. A part of her thinks that it’s overkill, having that many boxes, but she doesn’t want to get surprised like this again. She grabs a fourth box just because. 

As Liam rounds the corner, she realises that she has no milk or bread, either. This week has somehow got away from her, and she hasn’t got any shopping done. She reasons with herself that bread and milk are all she needs because she _really_ needs to get back home as soon as possible because she’s pretty sure she’s going to bleed through the toilet paper that she has wadded in her knickers. 

With the few items in her basket, Liam figures that she’ll just go through the self-serve check outs and she stops when she sees Louis standing in front of one, poking the touch screen with more force than is necessary. 

Liam hesitates. She could turn around and go through a staffed check out quite easily before Louis sees her, but as she moves to back away, Louis looks up and sees her. They both just pause and stare. 

There’s a few long moments of staring at each other before Liam ducks her head and moves to a check out so she can purchase her items. 

“Hey.”

Liam glances up. Louis is standing impossibly close. “Hi.”

“Period?” 

“Huh? Oh. Yeah.” Liam nods. She taps her bank card to pay for the items and takes her receipt, shoving it into her bag along with the items. 

“How are you?”

“Good. Yeah. Um. Good.” Liam nods again. She’s nodding far too much. She stops. “Um. How are you?”

“Yeah, good,” Louis replies. Her lips quirk like she wants to say something more but she doesn’t. “It was nice seeing you.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Louis walks off, leaving Liam where she is. She shakes her head, trying to get herself functioning again. She needs to get home _quickly_.

~*~

It keeps happening.

Liam has no idea how she was able to avoid seeing Louis for so long only for her to pop up all over the place – and so quickly after seeing her again. 

A few days later Liam is walking Watson in the park when out of nowhere, Louis and her football are making their way to where Liam and Watson are walking.

Watson practically jumps on Louis when he sees her.

“Hey, boy, I’ve missed you too.” The sincerity in her voice makes Liam’s heart clench in her chest.

Watson’s entire body wiggles with happiness. He licks Louis every chance he gets, pushing his face into her hand, her arm, her thigh. Louis, for her part, looks absolutely _ecstatic_ to see Watson. Liam feels awkward just standing there watching her ex-girlfriend and dog hug each other.

When Louis stands up again, keeping one hand on Watson’s big head, Liam’s stomach swoops. She tightens her fist around Watson’s leash, clutching onto it like a lifeline.

“Hey,” Louis says, throwing Liam a big, happy smile. “How are you?”

“Good,” Liam replies. She isn’t sure how to navigate this – seeing Louis again so soon after Tesco the other night has thrown Liam off her game. Seeing Louis full stop is throwing Liam off her game. 

“Still walking in this park, I see?” Louis gently kicks her football and Watson bounds after it, practically ripping Liam’s arm off in the process. She sighs and follows him, watching as he kicks the ball back to Louis – a trick that she had taught him so they could play together.

“How are you?” Liam asks when she realises she hasn’t asked Louis that question.

Louis grins at her. “Yeah, I’m good,” she says, nodding. She pushes the sleeves of her jumper up so they’re at her elbows and without asking, she reaches over and unclasps Watson’s leash from his harness. “C’mon, boy.”

Liam stands, flabbergasted, as Louis and Watson start playing together. Liam looks around, taking in the other people in the park, the other dogs. Most of them are far enough away that Liam shouldn’t have any trouble, but she likes to keep Watson on his leash – and Louis knows this.

After ten minutes, Liam calls Watson to her and he trots over, sitting at her feet. She reattaches the leash to his harness and pats his head. 

“We have to go,” Liam says. 

“Got a hot date, hey?”

Fire burns Liam’s cheeks.

“Shit, you do?”

Liam nods once. “Yes.”

“Oh. That bird you kissed the other day?”

Of course Louis saw that. Liam sighs inwardly. “Yes. And we’re going to be late. Sorry. C’mon, Watson.”

“Bye,” Louis calls after her. “It was good seeing you!”

For the rest of the day, all Liam can think about is how Louis was there, just acting like things were fine between them, that they were friends. That there wasn’t anything that had absolutely broken them apart. 

“You’re awfully distracted tonight,” Chloe says, her hand on Liam’s thigh. They’ve just finished dinner and Liam has no idea what Chloe has said to her. 

“Sorry,” Liam says. She clears their plates and turns, leaning against the countertop. “I… I saw my ex again. And it just threw me off.”

An indecipherable expression crosses Chloe’s face. “How so?”

“She acted like we were friends,” Liam says, folding her arms in front of her, staring at the floor. “It was weird. I was just walking Watson and there she was.”

Chloe hums softly. “Do you want to be friends with her?”

The question stumps Liam. “I don’t know. She hurt me really badly.”

“I know,” Chloe says. “But you need to think of if you can get passed that and decide if you want her in your life. If you can’t – the answer is simple. You’ll figure it out.”

Chloe kisses her softly and then wanders from the kitchen. Before Liam really registers what’s going on, Chloe is grabbing her jacket and putting it on.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” 

Chloe gives her a soft smile. “Yeah,” she says. “You’ve got some things to think about.”

Liam hates that she’s right.

~*~

The next time Liam bumps into Louis is at the post office.

She’s collecting a parcel that her mum had sent her – a care package that is no doubt filled with delicious homemade biscuits and a new scarf as Karen loves to knit Liam a new scarf every winter.

She’s about to leave the post office when Louis wanders in, a few letters in hand. Louis doesn’t see her at first, but her entire face lights up when she sees Liam. 

“Hey,” Liam says.

“Hey.”

This still feels awkward to Liam, who would like things to be clear and easier to navigate, but none of it is.

“I just need to post these to the girls,” Louis says, gesturing to the letters in her hand. “But would you like to get a coffee or something?”

“Um,” Liam hesitates before quickly nodding. “Okay.”

She isn’t exactly sure why she agreed – but Louis just seems different. She’s holding herself easier now than when they were together. She looks more relaxed and more comfortable with herself. Liam likes that for her.

It’s awkward for Liam, carrying a large box with her into a nearby café. Louis orders them both a drink and brings them over to the table Liam is sitting at, her box on an empty chair.

“So how are you really?” Louis asks. She rips open three sugar packets at once and dumps their entire contents into her drink. She stirs it while keeping her gaze on Liam.

“Um, good,” Liam replies with a nod. “I wasn’t lying when I said that the other times I’ve seen you.”

“That’s good,” Louis says. “I’m glad you’re well.”

“Thanks.”

An awkward silence falls over them.

“Why are–?”

“What–?”

They both stop talking and Louis nods at Liam. “You first.”

“Why are we here, Louis?” Liam asks, staring at her own drink. She picks up the spoon and scoops off the foam, automatically adding it to Louis’ drink in a way that she hasn’t done in such a long time.

“I miss you.” It’s said so simply. So honestly. And it makes Liam pause. She quickly sets her spoon down on the table and folds her hands in her lap.

“You broke up with me, Louis. In case you forgot?”

“I haven’t forgotten.” Louis’ voice is surprisingly soft. It makes Liam look up. “I spoke with Hannah. She didn’t snog you.”

Liam’s fingernails bite into her palms. 

“And I’m sorry for accusing you of cheating.” 

Liam wants to be anywhere but here right now. She can’t do this. Especially not in public. 

“You… you _broke my heart_ ,” Liam whispers. Tears prick the backs of her eyes. She hastily blinks, trying to keep them from spilling over.

“I know. And I’m sorry.” 

Liam takes a shaky breath. “Why didn’t you believe me?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you,” Louis replies. “Li… I… I still love you.”

In her haste to leave, Liam forgets her parcel.

~*~

A knock on her door later startles Liam. She runs a hand over her face and gets up to answer it.

“I think we should break up.”

Liam forcibly steps back. “…Okay?” she says to Chloe, who stands at Liam’s threshold and is chewing her bottom lip.

“You said you weren’t a cheater, and I believe you, but you also said you’d rather end the relationship before ever getting to that point,” Chloe says in a rush. “And I’ve been thinking – you’re clearly not over your ex. So I’m beating you to the punch. So to speak.”

Liam nods. “Alright,” she says. She can’t even begin to process this right now.

Chloe gently cups Liam’s face with one hand. “You’re an incredible woman, Liam,” she begins. “And so am I. We both deserve someone who is one hundred percent there for us.”

“I’m sorry,” Liam says, her tone watery. “I’m sorry I wasn’t a good girlfriend to you.”

Chloe shrugs. “I had fun with you. I’ll only remember the good times. Make sure you do, too.”

She kisses Liam’s cheek and closes the door behind herself.

Bewildered, Liam falls onto her sofa, covering her face with her hands.

What. A. Day.

~*~

The next time someone is at her door, it opens before she can even get up to answer it.

Zayn wanders in, sets Stitch on the ground, and he ambles over to Watson as fast as his little legs can carry him.

“Special delivery,” Zayn says. She sets a box down on the coffee table. 

“What’s that?” Liam asks, peering at the label. It’s addressed to her. How odd.

“I saw Louis.” Those three words have Liam’s world stopping completely. “She said you left this behind. Since when are you seeing Louis again?”

Liam shifts on the sofa, bringing her knees up to her chest. “We’ve bumped into each other a few times. She asked if I wanted coffee. I said yes. God I don’t know _why_ I said yes, but I did. And then she tells me she’s still in love with me!”

Zayn blinks. She sits down next to Liam. “Well, that’s a lot to unpack.” She sighs and pats Liam’s knee. “And what about you? How do you feel about her?”

Liam drops her forehead onto her knees. “I don’t know. She broke my heart pretty badly.”

“I know.”

“But I still feel something for her.”

“I can tell.”

“Does that make me a monster?” 

“What? Fuck off. No it doesn’t, Liam!” Zayn tugs Liam’s arms from around her legs and forces Liam to wrap her arms around her instead. “Why the fuck would you think that?”

Liam sighs. She closes her eyes. “Chloe broke up with me,” she says instead of answering Zayn’s question.

“You _have_ had a day, haven’t you?” Zayn pushes Liam’s curly hair out of her eyes. She smooths a thumb over Liam’s eyebrow, then down her glabella, and over her cheekbone. “You’ll be okay, babes.”

Liam sighs again. “I just want to know what the right thing to do is.”

“The right thing to do is whatever you want. Not what anyone else wants,” Zayn says. “If Louis says she still loves you, but you don’t feel the same, then you don’t owe her anything. That’s the right thing to do. But if you feel like you can forgive her and that you want to give it another go, then that is also the right thing to do.”

“Why do you make so much sense?” Liam asks.

Zayn grins at her. Liam loves this smile – where her tongue presses against the backs of her teeth. “Someone around here’s got to.”

Liam snorts. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Their talk hasn’t miraculously told Liam what she wants to do – or made the decision for her, but she somehow still feels better about the whole thing. 

It probably also helps that Zayn is impossibly warm and Liam easily falls asleep in her arms.

~*~

“I know it was a lot and I’m sorry. But I knew if I didn’t tell you that I’d lose me nerve and I just wanted you to know, you know? And I want you to know how _sorry_ I am, too. For how we broke up. And for using you for sex afterwards. And how we _really_ broke up. And for being such an arse. You have every right to hate me and to never speak to me again–”

“You’re doing all of the talking here, Louis,” Liam points out. Her hand is still on the doorknob where she opened her front door a few days later. She hadn’t been expecting anyone, and had been surprised when there was a knock on her door. She’d just got back from Zayn and Niall’s house, so she wasn’t expecting company. 

“Right. I’ll shut up,” Louis says. She gives Liam a sheepish look. “Um… Are you going to say anything?”

“Come in.”

Surprise crosses Louis’ face.

“Chloe and I broke up,” Liam says as she wanders to the kitchen. She switches on the kettle and proceeds to make them both a cup of tea. 

“Err… Sorry?”

Liam bites back a smile. “It’s okay,” she says. She finishes making their tea in silence and sets both mugs on the kitchen table.

“I’m still not… I’m still not completely there yet,” Liam says, forcing herself to look at Louis as she speaks. “But I want to be. I just… I need time still.”

Louis nods emphatically. “Of course,” she agrees.

“We need to take it slow. To see if we still fit into each other’s lives, you know? I don’t… I don’t want you to break my heart again.”

“It’s not in my plans, love,” Louis says. Her fingers twitch and she picks up her mug, taking a sip.

“But I’d like to try again.”

Louis beams and Liam knows that she’s made the right choice.

**Author's Note:**

> hi again. if you've got this far, i hope you enjoyed this fic. ♥  
> please leave me a comment if you liked it. i love comments so very much a lot. ♥
> 
> rebloggable post on my [tumblr](https://star55.tumblr.com/post/185945096026)


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